Perhaps this post should come under the banner of ‘Whinging Crybaby Vegan of the Week’ but hey, no red-blooded bloke wants to see his sausage flogged, especially by some scrawny screeching Vegan harpie.
You would think that you could go out for a nice charity walk in support of Breast Cancer awareness without the carrot crunchers telling you that you’re evil and going to die.
Nope, not in Queenstown anyway. (Sometimes I wonder if we are home to the highest population of weirdos in the country, then I remember Mangawhai and our barefoot cow-free coffee maker and have to think twice about just which town has more nuts than a squirrel turd).
But anyway, there seems to always be someone jumping on the bandwagon to tell us we are all doing it wrong. My local rag ‘The Mountain Scene’ picks up the story of Virtuous Vegan Bridget Murphy’s campaign to save your life by keeping you away from the evil sausage.
Vegan Slams Cancer Walk Sausage Sizzle was the cry.
A Queenstowner is sizzling with rage that a cancer charity-organised walk gave away cancer-causing sausages at the finish line.
Bridget Murphy, who’s a vegan, says sausages are “the worst possible meat you could eat”
That’s right folks, apparently the very worst meat you could eat would be sausages! No mention is made of exactly which sausages are the ones that Bony Bridget is so afraid of so I guess she is just lumping all processed offal and bread encased in an intestine into the same boat.
Personally I suspect that your average Cheese Sizzler might be slightly less healthy than your Practically Perfect Whalemeat Sanger but even then I am sure if you didn’t subsist solely on Sizzlers, you would probably still live to a ripe old age, all things being even.
At least Breast Cancer Foundation NZ’s research and communications manager Adele Gautier told her where to shove her sausage-phobic ideas.
It’s a fine idea to have an occasional sausage sizzle – we don’t see a problem
Too right. Sorry Bridget, but you can bugger off. You were given those shiny sharp teeth for a reason. May I suggest that you use them for what they were intended for and get yourself a bit of snag in your tummy.
I sure as hell don’t need you to be offended on my behalf. If you want my sausage you can take it from my cold dead cancerous arms.
