Warning

Satire

There was a certain National MP who served in parliament between 1975 and ’87 and for several years was ‘missing in action’. He never visited a school, business, tourist attraction or much else in his electorate, never attended a public meeting or other event or met with constituents. He was even absent from his own ‘victory’ party at the 1984 general election, which didn’t impress the hardworking folk who had just manned polling booths and got out the vote all day on his behalf.

There was one notable occasion when the prime minister at the time attended a public event and this MP, as is protocol whenever the PM visits an electorate, was invited to attend, but didn’t show; I know because I was there.

At the 1985 ‘Christmas party’ of the local National party branch, drinks flowed and bets were made as to whether their “Invisible Man” MP had actually died several years earlier but nobody had let on. The bets were as to which year this had occurred, with, amusingly, most money wagered on his demise having taken place in the year 1966.

Is it possible for someone in politics to have died, or have disappeared – or been assassinated perhaps – and it be kept quiet for years? If an MP, bored to tears at a torporific select committee meeting considering a ‘Who Cares?’ bill, thought ‘stuff this twaddle for an occupation’, packed his bags and moved to Australia, could anything be done about it? I have no idea, by the way.

The Daily Mail is running a story where a Ukrainian general is claiming Vladimir Putin is actually a body double and giving evidence to substantiate this claim. Your favourite Capitalist will let you draw your own conclusions about such a contention.

But what I will do is ask you a simple question: do you believe ‘the camera never lies’? Either you do or you don’t. On the presumption that anyone with even half a brain would accept the camera does not in fact lie, I therefore must inform you that Joe Biden isn’t Joe Biden – and here is the proof.

Photograph one was taken in 1975: look at his ears, his nose and his chin.

Photograph two was taken recently (I searched “Joe Biden 2022” on Google images): look at his ears, nose and chin.

Now before the Orwellians jump on their hind legs and start oinking, let me assure you that – no – your eyes are not lying to you. What you are seeing you are indeed seeing: the photographs are widely available online for you to view. Not really open to interpretation.

The only possible conclusion to be drawn is: It’s not the same chappie. Joe Biden isn’t Joe Biden and so a large number of actions undertaken during the last 18 months, all of which damage America and favour the communist Chinese, make an awful lot of sense. Could it be that Biden is, literally, the Manchurian Candidate? Could it be… time to start panicking?

I am Capitalist, a simple country boy from the deep south who seeks nothing less than the destruction of socialism and collectivism in New Zealand. Likes: making profits, family, freedom, Mott The Hoople Dislikes:...