Kay O’Lacey
wokejoke.nz

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Satire

Darlings of the political Left in Washington (USA) and Wellington (New Zealand) have been nominated for consideration for the 2021 Nobel Prize in Economics.

Joe Biden and Jacinda Ardern have been duking it out through 2021 in the specialist economic space of Quickest Way to Ruin a Country. Despite widely divergent backgrounds they’ve adopted surprisingly similar policies (with perhaps unsurprisingly similar outcomes).

First; start printing copious amounts of currency to release into the market – ‘just to see what happens!’.

Then; adjust all government budgets upwards, by a factor of a hundred (NZ from 100’s millions to 10’s billions, USA 10’s billions to trillions (that’s a number followed by 12 zeros!) – ‘what can possibly go wrong?’

Bury copious handouts to various stooges, liars, crooks, interest groups, and media (indirectly via advertising – got to get that COVID message out! Or directly – who cares?) in said huge budgets – ‘it’s too hard otherwise to figure out what to do with all that money!’

Promise not to raise taxes, but do it anyway – ‘tough luck suckers!’

Re-frame CPI/Inflation as ‘GDP Growth!’ – ‘God I’m brilliant!’

Tinker with key drivers of the economy (energy, farming, housing) – ‘we know better than you!’

Finish by slicing and dicing the country by race, gender and COVID vaccine status – ‘burn baby burn!’

While the success of such policies in ruining their respective countries in record time was otherwise uncontested, the Nobel Committee has been accused of ‘jumping through hoops’ to make the award in favour of actual Economists. The political Left were apoplectic with the decision as they saw this as their one-off chance for a shot at this prize with a spokesman quoted as saying ‘we can’t do this again in ’22 as you can’t ruin a country twice’. Sound economics indeed.

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