“We have great entertainment planned for ‘Super Saturday’ ” boasts an official from the Ministry of Bread and Circuses.
“First they’ll be an opening 5-hour harangue by Grant Robertson on why the unvaccinated are pure evil. Then Siouxsie Wiles will do some bicycle tricks. After that, the entire country will play Where’s Wendy (the hooker)? – the Mongrel Mob will be organizing that.
When darkness falls it will be time for Jacinda and Ashley’s hip-hop dance routine before crossing live to sing “Get Vax” with Sir Paul McCartney.
The whole thing will climax with a dozen specially chosen anti-vaxxers dropped from a helicopter into the White Island crater to appease the God of Science.
Oh…and there’ll be candy floss and a coconut shy, so bring the kids.”