In recent months, and within a relatively small circle of family, friends and acquaintances, I’ve heard of a range of identity issues gradually or even suddenly arising among a few quite disparate teenage girls.
There seem to be some common denominators with these kids, in that they are all above average or highly intelligent teens, from loving, caring homes where the parents are together, committed to their roles and very supportive of all their children. The girls are talented, often artistic or creative, idealistic, motivated and somewhat intense kids who either strive to achieve or have very individual goals. And then suddenly in their mid to late teens, seemingly out of the blue, comes the claim that somehow, they are “in the wrong body”.
I find myself wondering, and not for the first time, what on earth is happening and why.
When I was a teenager, in the late 60s and early 70s, obviously the world was a very different place from today. There was no social media, thank God; just trying to cope with the demands from school, parental expectations and simply trying to fit in and be reasonably accepted within my own peer group, were more than enough to handle. Street protests were about the Vietnam war, and computers were huge fridge-like machines, housed away in special rooms in universities which we were taken to visit by our maths teacher as a glimpse into the future of technology.
Although we went through all the usual teen angst over our hair, our bodies, our skin, and generally always wanting to be better than what we saw in the mirror, I don’t ever remember any of my friends having any doubts about their gender. Being short and a bit of a late developer, most of my own angst was due to wishing that I was MORE of a girl, in line with most of my female classmates who were quite happily “busting out all over”!
So, what has changed? I have to say that I find this whole concept of gender identity, very concerning. My now elderly but very perceptive mother used to express some personal worries about the long-term impact of the hormones contained in all the incarnations of the contraceptive pill over the years. Does it have anything to do with this?
Or is it a new teenage fad of some kind, where it’s kinda cool to announce that you think you are really the opposite sex and need to undergo quite radical change to feel at peace within yourself?
Or is it something more insidious, akin to a type of brainwashing or a virus of some kind? Covid – take a back seat!
I am not one for conspiracy theories and I have no answers, but in the end, I cannot accept that it is OK for us, as parents and grandparents, to blithely acquiesce to the claims and demands of young people over puberty blockers, surgery or whatever else they think they need.
In the end, despite the huge differences within their world, they are still just children and have yet to live life. We must be allowed to guide them but I do worry about the other influences at play.