Sir Bob Jones
nopunchespulled.com

Like used car dealers and lawyers, accountants have always been figures of fun, albeit for radically different reasons.

The used car dealers, hugely unfairly, are portrayed as crooks. The lawyers, with some justification, as shysters and accountants as the epitome of wetness.

Most likely to go to jail and the lawyers win hands down, followed by accountants with the much maligned used car dealers scarcely figuring in this statistic.

Conscious of their figures of fun imagery, the larger accountancy firms try to dilute this by labelling themselves management consultants. The likelihood of anyone seeking an accountant’s advice on a management issue is zero. My company employs professional accountants backed by support staff in all of our offices but we’d no more seek their advice on say whether to buy a building than ask the receptionist. It’s not their role and thus they’re unqualified to comment.

That said, one of the big four, namely PWC should issue their current 1,700 New Zealand staff with life-jackets for fear of drowning, following their CEO Mark Averill’s recent public declaration. Specifically, in a tidal wave of woke wetness he announced, in the interest of diversity, the intention to increase his Maori and Pasifika staff. But what of Asians who number twice as many as Pasifika and are almost as numerous as Maori? This blatant racial prejudice is alarming.

Mark; You’re a decade out of date woke-wise. Diversity today means a quota of homosexuals, trans-sexuals, bi-sexuals, dwarfs and cripples. So let’s have an announcement re your quota intentions of that lot, specially the sexually confused who are hypersensitive about such omissions.

The prospect of a herd of shrieking sodomities protesting outside PWC’s Auckland office at Mark’s appalling prejudices would certainly provide much entertainment in these gloomy times.

POST SCRIPT – The photo of Mark issued to the media with his announcement showed him be-suited, but, to demonstrate he’s “with it”; tieless. He appears middle-aged so it’s odds on he’s got a Harley Davidson, these days an essential acquisition by every middle-aged corporate type, sensitive to their dullard’s imagery.

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Sir Robert ‘Bob’ Jones — now New Zealand’s largest private office building owner in Wellington and Auckland, and with substantial holdings in Sydney and Glasgow, totalling in excess of two billion...