Information

Satire

The Hollywood Regurgitator has an article today discussing a new movie to be made about Jacinda Ardern. With a working title “Whadda ’bout me?” it closely follows Ardern as the tragic events of June 11th through 14th, 2021 unfold, during which depressing times the New Zealand prime minister was exposed to withering derision.

Image credit The BFD.

The film seeks to “restore the lady’s reputation as pre-eminent white saviourette of the modern world”. The producers previously rejected “They are us-eful” for the title following comment from the local Muslim community regarding the PM’s attitude towards them as being “about right”. Accused of using said persons for her own publicity when stealing their righteous thunder and manipulating events following the dreadful mosque-slaughter of 2019 to make it “all about her”, the upshot of which, they claim, saw the poor victims becoming “mere props” for her to be photographed stepping over, or on.

The title was instead inspired by Ardern’s recorded utterance, minus expletives, as the petition to can planned bio-epic “They are us”, which she had hoped would cement her reputation as the greatest leader of every woman of the world, and her wife, and catapult her to her rightful throne at the United Nations, exceeded 50,000 signatures. A double disappointment as “Ardern’s detractors also had hoped to see her catapulted, to destinations diverse and imaginative both.”

According to the Regurgitator:

“Whadda ’bout me” me will feature only stills of the embarrassed leader’s several authentic poor-me and sad-face grimaces in the opening scenes against a soundtrack ‘lachrymose, buoyed only by a medley of mournful dirges’ if information relayed to this outlet by three anonymous sources close to the production is true. As such the movie promises to be a real tear-jerker for the Jacindaphiles but an unedifying and cess-less suck which risks setting new records in prayers for film-endings, possibly surpassing the noisy clamour including calls for life-ending interventions induced by bore-fest ‘Life of a Snow-flake’ along with proving more unwatchable than even ‘Diarrhoea Wars – Return of the Jobbie’ for those less-than enamoured with the antipodean political illusionist.”

At the time of writing The BFD has reached out to the Regurgitator for confirmation of facts quoted in the story but, as at the time of publication, had received no response.

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Whadda ’bout Me?
idbkiwi

idbkiwi

Living in Wellington idbkiwi is self-employed in a non-governmental role which suits his masochistic tendencies. He watches very little television, preferring to read or research, but still subscribes...