Sir Bob Jones
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Following distribution of a staff newsletter at the AUT, life-jackets were immediately issued to panic-strickened staff members, all fearful of drowning, such was the degree of wetness they were engulfed in.

Apparently the AUT, God only knows why, created a nonsense position two years back of Director of Diversity and appointed a Professor Edwina Pio to the post. Below is her contribution which has caused so much consternation.

On Monday the Director of Diversity Professor Edwina Pio curated the Weaving Stories event for staff based around the sharing of personal stories.  Our diversity days have become an important way of recognising and celebrating the rich variety of our life experiences and identities at AUT.  

One visually striking aspect of the day was the knitted squares that people contributed that are still covering the handrails on the stairs and balustrades of the Sir Paul Reeves Building. They represent the importance of weaving together the many diverse strands that make up the story of AUT and strengthen our community and our achievements.  As the whakatauki goes, Ma Pango, Ma Whero, ka oti te mahi – with the black thread and the red thread the goal is achieved.

Imagine if wetness became an Olympic event. Edwina’s effort would see her a shoo-in for the gold medal, indeed so much so she would be recorded in our sporting annals as an all-time great.

Meanwhile I’m informed some AUT academics in the real subjects are planning to demand embarrassment money for their association, along the lines paid to the Truth newspaper journoes in the late 1970s. They certainly deserve it.

This kindergarten rubbish is yet another example of how the former respected reputation of higher education has descended into a farcical laughing stock.

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Sir Robert ‘Bob’ Jones — now New Zealand’s largest private office building owner in Wellington and Auckland, and with substantial holdings in Sydney and Glasgow, totalling in excess of two billion...