Two Stuff journalists spent the inaugural slow train from Hamilton to Papakura proving what even the dimmest fool already knew, that the train is a whole lot slower than the versatile and ubiquitous automobile:

We left five minutes after the train-catchers, as we forgot something at the office and had to circle back.

The journey up was uneventful, hitting the expected traffic from Mercer on, but never coming to a standstill.

Don’t get me wrong, we were definitely crawling at times, but never stopped.

Arriving in Auckland we found a park easily near Britomart Train Station and briskly walked down, arriving well before the others on the train, 35 minutes to be exact.

Stuff

They’ve missed the point entirely, not only is the car faster, but it is also more convenient. They left something behind, and so were able to “circle back” to get it. I guess the train riders just had to do without whatever it was.

Why would the car go to Britomart, though? Why would it presumably start at the train station? One of the benefits of the car is the trip starts where you are and ends where you need to be, no detours on the way.

Does the car not take you from your home to your exact destination? With the train, you have to get to the train, wait for the train, travel on the train and then get from the train to your exact destination.

Amazingly though, despite a countrywide mask mandate on public transport, it seems this is not required if you are on the slow train from Hamilton:

Stuff

Nor if you are a Stuff “journalist” on AT trains:

Stuff

The last bit of the article is enough to make you throw up a little in your mouth:

But we had arrived, guilt-free, calm, reflective and with a couple of hours of work already underneath our belts.

Stuff

Guilt-free? Taxpayers paid $150 for your ride to Auckland, muppet! How is bludging off the taxpayer “guilt-free”?

In any case these two muppets then jumped in the car and drove back to Hamilton. How’s the guilt now darling?

And while we are speaking of guilt, why are the media not showing this image, a promise from the gob of Jacinda Ardern at the 2017 election:

Labour party election promise of rapid rail to Hamilton, Rotorua and Tauranga

Ardern promised high-speed trains connecting Auckland, Hamilton, Tauranga, and every other tinpot town between and beyond. What have they given us?

A slow diesel loco between Frankton and Papakura.

Voters have every right to feel ripped off or resigned to the inevitability of it all following KiwiBuild, light rail to Mangere and buses to the airport and West Auckland, and so many others.

This was another of their flagship policies. It seems that Labour have more white flags than the French and Italian armies combined.

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Stuff ‘Journalists’ Prove What Even Blind Freddy Already Knew
Cam Slater

Cam Slater

As much at home writing editorials as being the subject of them, Cam has won awards, including the Canon Media Award for his work on the Len Brown/Bevan Chuang story. When he’s not creating the news,...