A couple of articles ago I wrote that my favourite NZ Herald opinion piece writer, alongside the persistent pedal pusher Simon Wilson, was Audrey Young. Well, now I’ve got a threesome! Number three is Diana Wichtel. After reading her article in the Canvas I found myself, metaphorically speaking, pretty much on it myself. Not knowing anything about the lady I researched her to find a woman of quite some maturity.  The tosh she wrote belied her mature years.

Her article was headed “Nothing Involving Humans Will Be Perfect”. The content of her piece was a testament to that. She started by talking about last weekend, the Big Gay Out, the America’s  Cup and how she spent time with friends, out and about, scanning and masking as required. My goodness, Jacinda would have been proud of Diana as she and her friends were living, if not the dream, then at least their slightly nervous normal. Perhaps Diana should have stayed at home. It is probably unwise for people of a nervous disposition like herself to venture out. Especially a person of such senior years. After all, Covid could be lurking just around the next corner.

Later that day, she says, her mobile suddenly emitted a nerve-shredding eldritch shriek of the sort you might expect to hear if being alerted to a nuclear facility on core meltdown. Not surprising then that it was a message from the Labour Party. Her dream had turned into a nightmare. Diana swears she levitated half a metre off the couch. I’ll swear it was more judging by this article. I think she hit her head on the ceiling and still hasn’t recovered.

Diana said that the announcement set off, like twin klaxons, National’s Judith Collins and Act’s David Seymour, enraged by the Government’s stubborn refusal to infallibly control the mutating virus ravaging the world. (They’re not the only ones).

Her message was clear that this is a virus that one can’t completely control and nobody has done better than her heroine Jacinda. Hence her headline. Then to really justify her headline she moved on to the devil incarnate, Donald Trump.

Now Diana is in not a shadow of a doubt that he was solely responsible for citing insurrection and the ensuing riots that saw the invading of the Capitol. Diana’s evidence is the footage shown by the House Managers at the trial. Poor naive little Diana. That footage didn’t prove anything as to who they were. When they invaded, all the Trump supporters were still at his rally listening to him speak.

Since then we have learned that the whole thing was preplanned. Weapons were planted there the night before. The FBI even knew about it. But no, in the gospel according to Mitch McConnell which Diana chooses to believe, “There’s no question – none – that President Trump is practically and morally responsible for the events of the day. They did this  because they’d been fed wild falsehoods by the most powerful man on Earth because he was angry he lost an election.” Well, the day might not be far off when Mitch McConnell is angry for exactly the same reason.

Diana said that the spectacle offered insight into how ordinary people become disposable foot soldiers for the worst leaders but these were not ordinary people. Ordinary people don’t engage in that sort of behaviour. I don’t know what sort of dreamworld Diana’s living in, dutifully following all Jacinda’s rules, but in my world, these were thugs like the ones the Democrats support who go around trashing cities.

Diana wrote that Trump’s most devoted supporters still believe this little setback (losing the election) is all part of his grand plan. You’d better believe it Diana, and I’d much rather have Trump’s grand plan than what is being served up by ‘sleepy Joe’ Biden.

Of course, as is par for the course with the anti Trumpers, Diana made no mention of –

  • the jobs he created,
  • the industries he brought back to America,
  • his dealing to terrorist groups,
  • his dealing to China and Iran,
  • his sensible policy on immigration,
  • being the first President to make headway with peace in the Middle East,
  • his not taking America to war,
  • his bringing the troops home.

None of that, just a load of emotional tosh, mostly incorrect, claiming that he’s the worst President ever. You might find it hard to believe, Diana, even at the risk of another head bump, but there’s no question – none – that history will judge him differently. No doubt in Diana’s world, Jacinda is God’s gift to it. Pitiful. Both the so called gift and the article.

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