Sir Bob Jones
nopunchespulled.com

With damn good reason I mock the Dominion- Post but in fairness, it’s not all bad and has some good political journos. It offers other pleasures as well.

One is the Saturday edition’s full-page advertisement by an employment agency called Jackson Stone Partners. When they first appeared I called our office-panic stricken and was assured they’re not in any of our buildings.

We do have lots of these self-described management consultants tenancies and with demand exceeding supply, are picky about occupants for our circa Wellington CBD 400 office suites, something appreciated by the incumbents.

This outfit’s adverts are world-class when it comes to bad writing. Sheer waffle best sums them up. Minor management positions are described in grandiose terms, not that that’s peculiar to Jackson Stone. Most offensive are the constant changes of tense.

Anyway, here’s one from last Saturday. It’s a tough call but the first person to translate what on earth this job is about will receive a copy of my recently published novellas.

Everyone else can quietly weep, certain in the knowledge this nonsense position is at your tax-paying expense.

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Sir Robert ‘Bob’ Jones — now New Zealand’s largest private office building owner in Wellington and Auckland, and with substantial holdings in Sydney and Glasgow, totalling in excess of two billion...