Joe Biden is planning an inauguration entirely befitting his stature, with every single one of his friends and voters in attendance.
Consequently, Washington is frantically preparing to cope with the crush: rumour has it that two whole phone booths have been booked already.
“If anybody saw the Democratic convention [in August] I think you saw a bit of what you will see for the inauguration,” James Clyburn told CNN recently.
So, basically, a senile old man in an empty room having to be constantly reminded to face the camera. Sounds like quite the shindig.
Normally, an inauguration ceremony in pomp and parades-mad America would attract somewhere on the order of 200,000 people. Creepy Joe’s handlers are anticipating a whopping crowd of 1,000. Including the kids he’ll be sniffing, and Junior’s entourage of crack dealers and lapdancers.
Viewing stands near the White House that would usually allow the public to watch the parade have been dismantled to discourage crowds and most of the lavish inaugural balls have been cancelled.
“We know that inaugural balls and public parades are part of the inaugural tradition,” Biden’s inauguration committee said in a statement.”However, given the current public health situation across the country, inaugural activities will have a limited footprint and events like the parade will be re-imagined.”
Well, having a couple of hundred thousand corpses piled up in the bleachers, à la Weekend at Bernie’s would no doubt be quite the health hazard, indeed. So, that’s Joe’s most loyal voters disinvited. His second-biggest voting bloc would have attended, but they’ve sent word that they’re too busy cleaning the House Democrats’ pools and dodging ICE agents.
Local politicians have even encouraged DC residents not to rent out their homes on platforms such as Airbnb in order to restrict people travelling to the capital.
“There’s no way to guarantee that your guests are not coming to incite violence,” newly elected DC council-member Janeese Lewis George said in a tweet this week.
Sydney Morning Herald
It’s certainly setting the tone of the Biden presidency that his cronies are actively trying to keep the public as far away as possible. But there are surely a few trusty methods of telling whether your guests are going to incite violence: a BLM button is a sure-fire red flag. Antifa flags, black masks and bludgeons, not to mention morbid obesity and the sort of disdain for personal hygiene that a would-be host could smell even over an internet connection would be another. A backpack full of mouldy “Not My President” T-shirts? Bolt the doors immediately.
And somebody make sure the Secret Service thoroughly inspects Kamala Harris’s accessories for concealed knives or poison hidden in the bezel of any rings she might be wearing.
But, above all else, somebody please make sure to remind Joe not to swear to preserve, protect and defend his old pal, Corn Pop.
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