Albert Einstein is famously credited with saying “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe”. Whether he actually said it or not is debatable, but what’s beyond debate is that the “progressive left” is absolutely determined to prove him right.
Nothing is too stupid for the woke left. Now they’re screaming at lakes and trees for being “racist”.
Last month, “Afro-Latinx” singer-actress Naya Rivera drowned while swimming in Lake Piru in Ventura County, Calif. Rivera had grown up in the area; the lake was not unfamiliar to her. It was an accident, and nothing more. Still, a black life was “taken,” so a petition was created to “cancel” Lake Piru.
If you think that’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard of, you’ve obviously been closing your ears to the incessant din of leftist shrieking for the past year or so – and half. In case you weren’t aware, everything, from maths, punctuality and being able to express yourself in more than grunts and expletives, to viruses, is “racist”, now.
It was only a matter of time before geomorphology got it.
“Lake Piru needs to go down. Now and forever. It’s taken too many lives,” brayed signatory Erin Jordan. “Naya Rivera and others deserve fucking justice. Nobody deserves to fucking drown or possibly be dead bc of this river,” bellowed Linnell Lilliston. Other comments: “Shut this shit down please.” “The lake shouldn’t have the right to be open anymore.” “Shut this place down!!!”[…]
Many of the 4,400 signatories simply chimed in with “justice NOW!” or “where’s the justice?” or “we need justice!”
These are people operating at the same mental level as their African cousins who stone ducks to death for making their penises shrink and blame wizards for making a beautiful woman magically transform into a goat the instant anyone happens to catch them in flagrante delicto. You can hand a troglodyte an iPhone, but don’t expect it to do anything but smear it in their own faeces and throw it back at you.
How one can extract “justice” from a lake is unclear. What is clear is that the notion of yelling at clouds seemed ludicrous until a bunch of low-IQ lunatics began doing it for real.
A step up from demanding justice from a lake is demanding it from a tree. I mean, at least trees are living organisms.
Oh, Lord, I hear you groan – what have the trees ever done? Pish! Foolish white person: your privilege is blinding you to the visceral racism of our dendritic friends.
Robert Fuller was a crazy-ass black man in Palmdale, Calif. (well, to be fair, all of him was crazy, not just his ass). Beset by mental illness, the poor bastard hanged himself from a tree outside the Palmdale City Hall on June 10. Fuller had a history of auditory hallucinations, institutionalization, psychotic outbursts, and suicide attempts. He used his EBT card to buy the rope he employed in the hanging (from a Dollar Tree, noch). It was an open-and-shut suicide, but in the fantasy world of BLM, it was a “lynching”[…]
Eventually the mob decided that the only way to extract that justice was to kill the tree. Now, the idea of executing a tree for a hate crime might seem funny to you, but it must be remembered that the average tree is the intellectual superior of the average BLM thug.
Yes, indeed, before you could say “I can’t breef*”, a hooting crowd of activists were cheering on the only one of their number who could successfully figure out how to work a pull-start.
That’s one racist tree that’ll think twice from now on. The BFD.
At one point someone appeared with a chainsaw and announced he was going to cut the tree down. The crowd chanted in support.
But, like Monty Python and the Holy Grail’s Sir Bedevere trying to reason with would-be witch-burners, a friend of the deceased’s family offered the astounding insight that chopping down a tree was not the path to justice. Cue furrowed brows. This was harder than working out whether they’d been turned into newts or not (clue: newts would have been smarter).
The bravery, the respect. A bunch of certifiable cretins arguing over whether to kill a racist tree or let it live so that it could assist in a pointless investigation into a nonexistent lynching. Literally, a heated debate over whether to extrajudicially execute a villainous tree or turn it over to authorities. In America 2020, this is what passes for a Great Moment in Black History.
* “I can’t breef”: A verbatim BLM graffiti.
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