The words we all dread to hear, “I want to talk to your manager.” Your eyes roll back in your head, you emit a deep sigh, (maybe just a little too obviously), you know you are now going to have to deal with this annoying woman. You know it’s going to take up your own precious time. You know that there are better things to be doing with your life right now, like maybe getting a root canal, but there is no escape, she has chosen you, you must confront her. Let’s call her Karen. “Ok Karen” you say, “what have I done wrong this time?”

Stories of the dreaded ‘Karen’ abound out in internet-land. We’ve all seen the memes, we all know the women concerned. You can see them a mile off striding towards you with their peculiar dark eyed, hate filled stare. Lesser folk wither or try to run, some stand up only to be struck down by the finger wagging, stoney faced vision of annoyance.

The Karens are a bit like a socialist voter. They can’t be swayed with logic or fact, they are right and only their opinion counts. You are wrong. You know you are wrong because she is telling you that you are, so wo-betide you if you think you are going to come out on top of this one!

Of course eventually Karen finds someone else and some other slight to be railing against, but the weeks or even months that you lose from your productive life will never be regained. You will likely die earlier than you should, simply because of that damn woman.

So perhaps it is time to fight back a little? Perhaps we can find enough reports of local Karens to start a new segment? The Karen of the Week. Here, I’ll start.

Screenshot, ODT. [Redacted] wants the owners of a campervan to stop parking it long-term outside Arthur Street School in central Dunedin. PHOTO: SHAWN MCAVINUE

Meet “Karen”. Karen would like to speak not only to the manager (of the Council) but also the Headmaster, and also to the evil ignorant scum motorhome owners who insist on parking on her street. Well of course it’s not exactly her street but the one outside the Arthur St School where one of her little Tarquins attends.

Now, of course, every good Karen-esqe story needs to have a little disabled kid in it to tug at your heartstrings, but this one is particularly good. “Karen” has not one but two autistic kids. And she can’t park close to her school because of someone legally parking their vehicle on the road!

Goodness, it’s almost like every single other inner city school has acres of free parking fully accessible for mothers of difficult children. How can this school not be thinking of her very special needs?

The area was “bedlam” before and after school, she said. It was “heart-breaking” the campervan was parked across spots, robbing the twins the chance of going on the school run. “I ask them as a mum of two disabled children, please move it.

She even left “heartfelt notes“. I bet she did, I can just imagine them, a little victim playing, a little passive aggressiveness, maybe a veiled threat. But “they thumbed their nose at them“. Gee I don’t know but I reckon maybe if I was parking my legal vehicle on a legal parking spot I would also thumb my nose at her.

Complaints to the Council and School have born no fruit, well perhaps other than to encourage the Headmaster to retire or move on before her other two ‘differently abled’ Tarquins end up becoming his problem too.

Unfortunately, a quick search from Google Space shows that there appears to be quite a few parking spaces around the Arthur St school, maybe even a possibly legally parked campervan. In fact, a quick check on Street view would show that in front of said campervan, there is actually a 5-minute parking space so surely this is a drop-off zone that has been put there for that purpose.

Of course, the real story comes out once the Karen gets her story published by the complicit media. As one commenter suggests, “seen on FB how she stalked the owners of the Camper van, then named them on SM, named their profession, took pics of their house and driveway.”

So let’s look a little closer at “Karen”. Oh, a quick Twitface check on her reveals she is a “Journalist | NZ / Aotearoa | NZ correspondent | Excellent reverse parker | she/her”.

So straight away we can see that she is part of the woke offenderatti. A further trawl down her page shows that she also hates Trump, loves Elizabeth Warren and all other Native Americans, and is a big fan of doxxing, the habit, (particularly prevalent amongst the Karens, leftists and clueless of the world), of revealing people’s names, addresses, occupations etc in an attempt to embarrass and pressure them into submission. Well, let’s hope that backfires on her. It is never ok to publish people’s details like she has, even taking photos of their property including registration numbers of vehicles there.

I hope something eventually comes of the complaints that the poor harrassed campervan owners have laid with the Police.

In the meantime, Karen, how about giving us a break? Stick with the anti-Hamilton Council stuff and uplifting stories about fat kids with elephants and stop trying to create news stories about yourself to write.

Oh, and yes, you have heard about this ” Karen” before. Remember the “grossly inappropriate and offensive joke” Crybaby of the Week post from 2017? Yep, one and the same “Karen”.

The BFD.

Karen plays the victim card to get in the paper. Karen is a manipulative self-obsessed drongo. Don’t be like Karen.

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ExPFC, ex lots of things. I'm a passionate user of fossil fuels, a proud flag flying Kiwi, I have trouble suffering fools and the permanently offended. Sometimes I may play the devil's advocate, sometimes...