If you’re a fan of Eskimo Pies then I’m afraid you’re out of luck, as the company that makes them has decided to go woke and rebrand them. John Mitchell from Spiked explains.

Post-BLM, even a popular ice-cream brand name can be deemed a source of racial oppression.

Alongside Covid-19, it seems another debilitating infection has returned to New Zealand: the pandemic of political correctness.

[…]The humble Eskimo Pie, an ice-cream treat beloved of Kiwis for generations, is to be renamed in the wake of the Black Lives Matter movement sweeping the globe. 

[…]Times change but it’s still a chilling move, if you’ll excuse the pun. No one of Inuit descent has complained about the brand name Eskimo Pies, though in 2009 an Inuit visitor from Canada, Seeka Lee Veevee Parsons, did say she was shocked by the sale of Eskimo lollies – another Kiwi favourite – in New Zealand.

Nevertheless, the maker of Eskimo Pies, Tip Top, has decided to drop the name so as to be ‘part of the solution on racial equality’. How changing the name of an ice-cream sold for decades in a country more than 12,000 kilometres from even the closest Inuit native is ‘part of the solution to racial equality’ remains unclear.

Either the Tip Top management have had a brainfart and decided they want the company to be “socially aware” or some idiot in marketing decided here’s a good opportunity. My bet is the former.

And no word yet on what the ice-cream’s new name might be, but one presumes it won’t be Inuit Pie or Yupik Sandwich. Odds on it’ll be something as inoffensive as possible – perhaps something catchy like ‘frozen, smooth, semi-solid vanilla foam coated in cocoa solids and cocoa butter’. It’ll likely have to be zero-sugar and low-fat, too.

One person who presumably won’t be eating whatever Eskimo Pies become, though, is New Zealand Herald reporter Siena Yates. Yates, an entertainment reporter, wrote an op-ed explaining why she’s decided to have weight-loss surgery.

We’re all ‘fatphobic’ apparently. And, as it turns out, racist and a bit sexist. That’s why Yates, a person of colour, is overweight and now in need of surgical intervention. Fatphobia is all related to anti-blackness, says Yates, quoting US academic and author Sabrina Strings who, in her book Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia, said that during times of colonisation and slavery, ‘overfeeding and fatness were evidence of “savagery” and racial inferiority’.

Which is a good illustration of how SJWs think. Any connection you can make, no matter how tenuous, is right so long as it’s fits the narrative. Black women are generally larger so if you don’t like fat women then you’re racist. 

How far down the infinite rabbit hole of wokeness do you go? Every time I hear some white guy on television say “Haere Mai” I’m sure there’s some Maori thinking that honkies shouldn’t be trying to speak his lingo.

The word “honky”, is that offensive or is that allowed? I don’t know. Time to buy some Eskimo Pies while they’re still called that and have pictures of Eskimos on the box.

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