Both party leaders have agreed that it makes sense to merge as their parties have identical policies and National wouldn’t have done anything different under the COVID-19 lock up.
The ex-National deputy leader Nikki Kaye said Jacinda will be the leader as she has done a fantastic job for New Zealand and the World.
A beaming Jacinda Ardern said, “it will be business as usual because the new ex-National members will stick to their knitting raising the cash while we will do what we do best — spending it — a win-win all round”, she said.
It is not envisioned that the ex-National members will be assigned ministerial roles in the next government, except perhaps Jian Yang who would make a great Minister of the NZSIS.
Todd Muller was ecstatic. “We have been eyeing Labour’s ever-expanding Maori seats with envy and while we have a good collection of dimwits and seat warmers, diversity is the number one problem facing New Zealand. We are looking forward to embracing all the various hues and genders that labour has to offer”, he said.
It has been decided that the newly merged party will be called the Let’s Pardy Party.
Deputy Leader hopeful Nikki Kay said the word National has always been problematic for her. “It implied some sort of yukky Nationalism and love of country when today we are all for open borders and as much diversity as possible”, she said.
Jacinda Ardern said, “I have been unhappy with the unfashionable name Labour for a while. It doesn’t fit with progressive best practice of not doing any work, so we won’t have that millstone hanging around our necks anymore”.