Geoffrey
The Prime Minister of The United Kingdom tested positive for the China Virus. The Prime Minister of Canada did too.
The Prime Minister of The United Kingdom went into isolation, and then into the hospital, and is now out and working. The Prime Minister of Canada went into isolation too. And he’s still there.
The “Leftover” Liberal government of Justin Trudeau was re-elected in 2019, thirteen seats short of a majority. So they did a deal with The New Democratic Party (Loonie Left, not so new, 24 seats), and now they have a majority. Together they have suspended the Canadian Parliament until 21 September.
There is no budget for the fiscal term starting 1 April. Who needs a budget? A reduced House of Commons will have four hours on 17 June to debate $150billion in government spending. Enough time surely?
Why bother with the House of Commons when you can simply hold daily news conferences from outside your own house? You can come out and give money away from Rideau Cottage, just like Eva Peron used to throw money away off the balcony of the Casa Rosada.
And you can grow your hair and a beard to be more like your new pal the NDP leader, who with a cloth around his head to keep his hair from falling out, long thick beard, and facemask, looks more like a food industry worker than a political party leader.
Food stores, pharmacies, banks, petrol stations, auto shops, and beer, wine and liquor stores are all open as essential services. But Parliament is not an essential service and is not open.
Five Liberal cabinet ministers went kayaking. What a jolly time! You’d never know there was a country to run. But then again, they don’t know how to run a country except into the ground, so what’s the difference?
Without Parliament you don’t have to answer questions about China. The Prime Minister loves China. He once said he admires their “basic dictatorship”. But the Prime Minister had a difficult childhood with a silver spoon stuck in his mouth. His father the Prime Minister loved Cuba, and was once photographed doing a pirouette behind the Queen’s back. His mother loved The Rolling Stones, and was once photographed completely unconcerned that she wasn’t wearing any underwear.
Huawei CFO (Communist Flying Object) Meng Wanzhhou, is currently in Canada facing extradition to the USA (she just lost another round so hopefully we’ll soon be shot of her). In the meantime she’s free on bail and living in one of her Vancouver mansions.
Meanwhile over in China, two innocent Canadians were arrested, charged with spying, and have been imprisoned somewhere for 548 days (as of 9 June). Probably not in a mansion though.
And the excuse for all this is of course, the pandemic.
Next: The pandemic in Canada.
Geoffrey Corfield is a card-carrying member of both The Conservative Party of Canada (federal) and the Progressive Conservative Party of Ontario (provincial). He has served on party constituency boards of directors for The Reform Party of Canada (now the Conservative Party), The Progressive Conservative Party of Saskatchewan (now the Saskatchewan Party), and The Progressive Conservative Party of Ontario. In 1981 he ran for the PC Saskatchewan nomination for Cut Knife-Lloydminster but lost to a small-town mayor who was elected and later caught in an expense account scandal. They chose the wrong candidate. But he won’t always write about politics because he has more experience writing humour columns. He lives in London, Ontario; loves used bookshops (humour, history, travel); swims laps; drinks beer; supports Aston Villa Football Club and Worcestershire County Cricket Club; has six books published; his own town in north-central Queensland and his own bar and street in Perth, Australia; is founder of The Almost Somewhat Royal Civic Gardens Croquet Club; and very much wants to find a publisher for his books on the humorous histories of Australia and New Zealand.
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