World Class Gibberish

In seven plus decades of reading, on average 8 hours daily, of tens of thousands of books, jam jar labels, magazines, newspapers and what have you, I can unhesitantly say I’ve never read gibberish to match an extract I quote below.

This “contribution” was in a Dominion Post article by a bloke called Bruce Gourley. Bruce’s bad judgment was compounded by him including his photo which certainly didn’t help his underlying endeavour to attract clients (bald, fat and bearded.) Basically he offers his services as a “creative strategist” to businesses.

Now, before reading on, sit down with a strong drink, then try and make sense of the following.

“Our pivot, prepare and position framework, covers the critical need to pivot immediate services and systems in the short term, how to build internal agility that prepares companies for multiple future scenarios, and finally, how to position the brand for the recession.”

In August my new book of four comic novellas will be out. One deals with an installation art competition and I had enormous fun writing critic’ reviews. For when it comes to bullshit verbiage the artworld is in a class if its own and always has been. It’s plain that’s where Bruce’s true potential for a successful career lies.

Does he have a wife I wonder? If so, presumably she’s either stone deaf or insane or a foreigner who can’t speak English, otherwise, assuming he talks like that at home, logically she’d have murdered him by now.

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