The First Action Taken If I Was a Dictator

First, by a country mile, trace the screamingly wet and bound to be bearded, cowering bastard responsible for the “Be Kind” neon signs on our motorways. They’re absurdly infantile and massively insulting. I’d take him on a nation-wide tour to be dragged naked, slowly through the main streets for everyone to pelt him with rotten tomato and eggs.

Now if instead of me, Jacinda was to order that to happen and furthermore, throw the first tomato, I’d join in the “great leader” clamour. Copying to the letter what nearly every country in the world has done, doesn’t constitute leadership. Passing across totalitarian authority, not even matched in wartime, to an unelected official is not only an affront to democracy but the total abdication of leadership.

All things considered, probably it’s best if I take over.

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