China just killed the first New Zealander today. I’d like to say it differently, but that would just be polite.

Truth is, the lady who died over on the West Coast would still be alive if it weren’t for Chinese people eating pangolins, then the CCP covering the whole virus up until it was too late – or whatever the hell they did – in Wuhan.

There will be more deaths, of course. I just hope and pray nobody I love and care about is among them. Everybody is hoping and praying the same. I’m not surprised that already people are hurt, angry, fearful and shouting out loud that we should never, ever have anything to do with China again.

But China is the biggest bully on the planet. We made it this way, with our love of AliExpress and cheap Warehouse clothes and plastic garbage and discount electronics. We can blame the politicians all we like, but we were complicit in this. We made this mistake. It was a whopper.

What this whole sorry mess is also teaching us is that China is not our friend, it is not our ally, and it is not here to help us. China is here for China, and it is huge and powerful and aggressive.

It’s been a bit of a wake-up call for most of us. Many of us won’t want to wake up from all this and will demand business as usual as soon as we’ve buried our dead.

Don’t underestimate the idiocy of some of our “leaders”, on all sides of politics and business. This shouldn’t be a partisan issue. Many are at fault here, including ordinary Kiwis, and I see few differences in parties and labels at this juncture. We are all to blame.

What I am saying is this: yes, we should disentangle ourselves from China, but we should do so slowly, carefully, delicately. Don’t threaten the bully. China is well aware that this is a PR nightmare, its leaders are on edge. Some are suggesting that Xi Jinping’s leadership may not hold.

Bullies backed into corners are especially dangerous.

Instead of threatening the biggest bully, I suggest we quietly reduce our lunch money for the bully – cent by cent, week by week. Just move away, economically, distance ourselves over time, and learn from our mistakes.

It’s well past time we looked after our own.

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Dunedin-based supermum. My interests include whisky, dark chocolate and leaving work early. Political affiliation: Libertarian, and non-partisan at present; my last vote was for Jacinda (yes, I know: it...