Humans can be pretty intriguing creatures. As God found out in the Garden of Eden, tell us not to do something and our immediate impulse is to find the most ingenious way to get around it.

As governments impose ever-more onerous restrictions on daily life in response to the Chinese virus pandemic, entire sectors of the economy are facing bankruptcy, small businesses especially. Some are getting downright innovative.

The panic-buying of the past couple of weeks has seen many items become temporarily scarce, not least hand sanitiser.

While it’s possible to make your own hand sanitizer at home, even the necessary ingredients have proven difficult to find in recent weeks. And distilleries across the country have taken note, coming up with a clever solution to the sanitizer shortage: using in-house alcohol for homemade sanitizer[…]

Durham Distillery, based in North Carolina, said in a statement this week that it is in “a unique position of providing assistance to our hospitality colleagues.” The company announced it will use its alcohol to create a sanitation solution, which it plans to donate to local businesses in need[…]

Portland, Oregon-based Shine Distillery & Grill is also making its own “hand cleaner” and giving it out to the community for free. The company said it wants others to give back as well — so it’s also offering up its recipe to other distilleries.

Distilleries around the country are taking note of the ingenious idea — and they’re asking for nothing more than a donation if possible.

cbsnews.com/news/coronavirus-distilleries-making-free-hand-sanitizer-shortage/

Distilleries around the world, from Britain to Taiwan, are doing the same.

Other industries are also innovating.

The [Lucky Devil Lounge] was forced to close with [Portland] Gov. Kate Brown’s mandate to stem the spread of coronavirus, but the order does allow food establishments to offer take-out or delivery.

And thus was born club owner Shon Boulden’s newest business: Boober Eats.

The home delivery service, in which a pair of scantily clad strippers will deliver hot food to your door, started as a joke Boulden posted on social media. When people began seriously inquiring about orders, Boulden saw potential[…]

Boulden said he’s trying to employ as many people as possible during the club’s shut down. The kitchen staff are cooking orders. Security guards are driving dancers to deliveries. Bartenders are now working the phones and maintaining social media.

oregonlive.com/coronavirus/2020/03/portland-strip-club-forced-to-close-so-dancers-now-do-delivery.

The fun has its serious side, though: strippers are usually considered independent contractors rather than employees. As such, they’re ineligible for unemployment benefits.

Many small businesses, especially sole traders, are facing a bleak future during shutdowns. Many are trying to adapt, offering home-delivery options and the like. Local printers are running off – often free of charge – big, colourful “Open for Business as Usual” stickers for those few businesses able to remain open.

Not every local business can send a couple of sexy girls to your doorstep, but local business needs our support.

After all, these are many of the same businesses that communities have always asked to chip in for the local school, the kids’ footy league or the Lions Club. Now it’s time to return the favour.

The BFD.

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Punk rock philosopher. Liberalist contrarian. Grumpy old bastard. I grew up in a generational-Labor-voting family. I kept the faith long after the political left had abandoned it. In the last decade...