Living in Queenstown is seen by many as being the ultimate idyllic lifestyle choice. For sure it’s a great place to live: the mountains, the lakes, the fresh air, and million-dollar views for “only $1.89 million”, what’s not to like?

Well, for one thing, the cold! Unless you are used to it, people move down here and get a bit of a shock to the system as soon as the temperatures start dropping.

We are already well into the frosty starts. In fact, my lawn had so much frost on it this morning that it looked like it had snowed overnight. And snow it has on the mountains. As I look out my office window the Remarkables have a nice little layer of the white stuff which has been there for a few days.

Now, this isn’t too much of a big deal if you are living in a lovely modern abode with double glazing, central heating, fireplaces and a spa pool. But when it does become a big deal is when you are stuck in a campervan. Trust me on this, living in a campervan when it’s below zero outside is not particularly enjoyable, and really is only for the masochist, or perhaps the mad ski bum. I’ve tried it, it’s cold.

So when we heard last week that the woman who has now become colloquially known locally as “That Danish Tart” was whacked into quarantine in a campervan in a super-secret, gravel car park (on Hawthorne Drive, just past Pak-n-Save on the left), I thought to myself that I wouldn’t want to be there for too long.

Good for her then that she was cut loose pretty quickly to go and roam the countryside. But I thought to myself, ‘What’s the bet that won’t be the last person we see locked up in there’?

Turns out that may have been a bit prophetic. I popped down there on a little reconnaissance mission as I was enjoying the last moments of freedom and was not that surprised to see plans are well on the way, and quite a few new arrivals are being planned for.

What a couple of weeks ago was simply a gravel car park with a portacabin, a portable toilet block and a portable shower block for the use of freedom campers, has now been turned into a fully powered campsite for twenty campervans.

The BFD. Queenstown’s super-secret quarantine facility. Photo credit ExPFC.

The area has been fenced off with waratahs and wires and a large trailered generator has been set up so each spot can have it’s own power. They’re going to need that. I hope they provide extra heaters with the campers too.

I wonder what other regions are doing to get set up for the quarantining of pox infected persons? It seems that Auckland will have a decent supply of cruise ships, some of which may well be sent to other port areas, but what about all the other provincial towns around New Zealand? I guess there are plenty of empty schools at the moment that could be used now that the Government has finally accepted that they are veritable disease factories and closed them down.

The BFD. Free power for pox ridden campervans. Photo credit, ExPFC.

I would have thought that for a place like Queenstown that currently has a plethora of empty hotels, it might have been a better idea to take over one of those. Maybe that’s to be done as well.

I do wonder though if the authorities will give up on their silly policy of everyone working at this facility needing to sign non-disclosure agreements!

In the meantime, try not to get crook in Queenstown. If they think you’ve got the Beer Virus you might just find yourself having to wait until lunchtime before the pipes defrost so you can brush your teeth.

https://thebfd.co.nz/2020/03/random-impertinent-questions-for-the-government/

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ExPFC, ex lots of things. I'm a passionate user of fossil fuels, a proud flag flying Kiwi, I have trouble suffering fools and the permanently offended. Sometimes I may play the devil's advocate, sometimes...