Do you remember the days of serialised radio shows and novels? A serial book is a work of fiction or non-fiction that is published in sequential pieces called instalments. These instalments can be published at nearly any interval for nearly any period of time, though weekly and monthly instalments are most typical.
Every Wednesday we will be publishing half a chapter of Nieuw Zeeland An English-Speaking Polynesian Country with a Dutch Name: A Humorous History of New Zealand by Geoffrey Corfield.
It is a MUST read as it has had the infamy of being rejected by non-other than that bastion of balance, Otago University.
Chapter Two: New Zealand is formed.
There are two theories about how the islands of New Zealand came to be: the scientific theory and the Maori theory (one theory is more fun than the other theory).
The scientific theory is “The Theory of Continental Drift”. According to this theory the continents of the Earth were formed when the original land mass of the Earth broke apart into two smaller land masses, which then drifted (or floated) away to become the seven continents of the Earth.
Antarctica and Australia it is believed were both formed by either breaking off the southern tip of South America and drifting away; or breaking off the eastern side of Africa and drifting away. Either way, they drifted away.
Antarctica only drifted a short distance south to the South Pole, where it became surrounded in ice and frozen solid into its current position.
Australia on the other hand, drifted away in a north-westerly direction in an epic voyage 10,000 miles away from South America and 5,000 miles away from Africa, until it almost bumped into Asia. Of all the continents Australia did the most drifting by far.
New Guinea, Tasmania and New Zealand it is believed were formed by breaking off Australia. New Guinea broke off the north coast of Australia and drifted a short
distance north. Tasmania and New Zealand broke off the southeast coast of Australia. Tasmania drifted a short distance south, but New Zealand drifted off on its own (the most drifting done by any land mass on Earth), to become the most significant land mass in the Pacific Ocean (bigger than all the other South Pacific islands put together), and the largest of the most isolated countries in the world. Quite an accomplishment for a chunk of land formerly part of Victoria and New South Wales, Australia.
That’s the scientific explanation for how New Zealand was formed. But there’s another explanation that’s much more fun to hear about. It’s the Maori legend of the origin of New Zealand. In this rendition New Zealand doesn’t drift or float into position, it’s fished up out of the sea.
Maui was a fifth son. But he was born so weak and undeveloped that his mother wrapped him up in a knot of her hair and threw him into the sea. But Maui survived and returned to his family where he became his mother’s favourite son (all is forgiven), his grandmother’s favourite grandson (he was the only one allowed to carry around her jawbone), and his four brother’s least favourite brother. They never wanted to take Maui fishing with them.
One day Maui and his brothers beat up the Sun with the jawbone of their grandmother, made the Sun crawl across the sky from east to west, and then the four brothers went fishing thinking they had left little Maui behind. They took a big canoe (which later on became the South Island of New Zealand).
But Maui and his grandmother’s jawbone tricked the brothers. They hid underneath the canoe where they couldn’t be seen (Maui could hold his breath underwater for a considerable period of time thanks to having developed an exceptional lung capacity as a result of having been wrapped up in a knot of his mother’s hair and thrown into the sea an early age).
Sailing far out to the south the brothers had no luck fishing, and then when they went even farther out to sea Maui and his grandmother’s jawbone popped out from underneath the canoe and surprised them. The four brothers were not very happy. They weren’t happy to see Maui and they weren’t happy that they hadn’t caught any fish.
But Maui said that he knew a really good fishing spot even farther out to sea, so they sailed there and threw out the anchor (which later on became Stewart Island, New Zealand). Maui then made a fish hook out of a piece of his grand- mother’s jawbone (which later on became Cape Kidnapper’s, Hawke’s Bay, New Zealand), hit himself on the nose until it bled, smeared some of the blood on the fish-hook as bait, stuck another piece of his grandmother’s jawbone up his nose to stop it bleeding, and threw the fishing line overboard.
Almost immediately they caught so many fish the canoe was in danger of sinking, and then just as they were almost finished fishing they got a really big bite and after a long struggle hauled up a fish that was as big as the North Island of New Zealand (in fact it was the North Island of New Zealand), which they named “Te Ika a Maui” (The Fish of Maui).
Part two of Chapter two will be published next week.
- Chapter One Part one: A Humorous History of NZ
- Chapter One Part two: A Humorous History of NZ
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