This is part two of a series of four articles that exposes the ideology behind the New Zealand Mates & Dates programme. Our Guest writer reveals what they don’t want New Zealand parents or the general public to know.

*First published February 2019

Part one: The Truth about Mates & Dates

Mates & Dates Part two:

Step outside the box: you can be male or female, or neither or both.

Mates & Dates is a secondary school program which claims to tackle sexual violence, consent and healthy relationships. Documents obtained under the Official Information Act reveal the full extent of what is being taught.

One of the classroom activities is called gender boxes whereby Year 9 kids are asked to try to put stereotypical male or female traits into either a male or female box.

The BFD. Mates & Dates Facilitator’s Guide, Pg20 Gender Boxes Activity (Year 9)

The facilitator then explains that it is indeed possible that some women may like cars, wearing trousers or playing sport.

How surprising! (sarcasm)

If the point of this exercise was to break down the stereotype that women should be solely responsible for washing the dishes or doing the laundry, or that only boys are loud, there would be no problem with it.

However, the end goal is very different from that.

The topic being taught is that gender is a continuum, and that any person can step outside of the boxes of male or female, even to the point of being BOTH or NEITHER male nor female.

The BFD. Mates&Dates Facilitators guide, Pg17, Year9

This is an attempt to alter the child’s perception of their own gender, or at least their gender expression, away from gender-stereotypical behaviour.

Some may think that is a bold claim to make, but it’s not unfounded. After reading the resources Mates & Dates and the activities therein was based upon, it is clear that this was the designed intent.

The BFD. Gender, Sexism & Social Activism, Page3, Octavia Calder-Dawe, April 2014

A former facilitator revealed that time is also spent explaining the meaning of different genders. Male, female, transgender and non-binary are explained in detail, despite this not being overtly mentioned in the curriculum.

The facilitator ultimately quit, because ‘they’ disagreed, on scientific grounds, with the self-identification-of-gender aspects of the curriculum.

Family Planning has a similar exercise to Gender Boxes in their Affirming Diversity resource pack, involving a bag of Fruit-bursts. The facilitator asks the kids to find a way of separating the variety of colours into two separate groups. They can’t because fruit bursts are all the same size and shape with varying colours.

It is a great way to manipulate the minds of children into believing a false statistical distribution of diversity, using Fruit-bursts.

See kids, you can’t cram all that diversity into just two boxes.

Family Planning’s own literature says Intersex people make up 1:2000 of the population. This then means we have Male and Female (together 99.95%) and Intersex of 0.05%.

This is hardly comparable to the even distribution of multiple colours in a bag of Fruit-bursts, whereas biology says we have a 99.95% chance of being inside one of the two boxes.

Stepping outside the box

If gender is taught as a continuum which can change, a girl who is made self-conscious about her apparently masculine traits could begin to consider if she’s better off identifying as a boy.

Perhaps she’s trapped in the wrong body?

After all, this is the root intent of the ideology.
If you believe you are a boy, then you are one.

The path towards crew cuts, boys’ clothes, breast binders and puberty blockers begins.

Places such as Evolve in Wellington are, allegedly, already legally able to hand out breast binders and make referrals to GPs for 14-year-olds to begin their journey of gender-affirmation without parental notification.

New Zealand medical professionals have already been issued guidelines for gender affirmation for those who feel that their body doesn’t match who they identify as. An obligatory stab at white colonial oppression and minority status is included in these too.

Within 2 years Australia has seen a 200% increase in children seeking to medically transition with hormone treatments, and the UK has launched a Government inquiry after a 4,500% increase was noted over 10 years.

Should the gender-questioning child wish to not transition via gender affirmation hormone therapy, they then go down the social constructionist avenue of self-identification.

This means that a man who self-identifies as a woman will not get a sex-change operation, because he believes he has a woman’s penis.

The NHS in the UK has been calling biological men, who self-identify as women, for cervical smear tests despite them not having a cervix.

In New Zealand, a young man has alleged that a Mates & Dates class was told some men get pregnant, and a UK primary school is teaching children that some boys have periods too.

The BFD. The common person would find these concepts laughable

The common-sense person would find these concepts laughable, but it’s no laughing matter. These things are already happening and the people who believe it are aggressively pushing it.

It’s common to see the highly manipulative suicide card being played as they claim that they are saving the lives of kids who will ultimately commit suicide if they aren’t affirmed.

It’s important to not confuse gender dysphoria, transgenderism and transexualism, because the method of affirmation or treatment is entirely different.

Transexual people who have medically transitioned are vociferously opposed to self-identification of gender. They rightly say that it undermines the rights they have worked so hard for and it invalidates the binary nature of their existence.

Transexual people are extraordinarily rare and are characterised by biological intersex conditions such as Klinefelter syndrome. The way for a person with transexual conditions to medically transition and to gain recognition as a person of the opposite sex is a long medical pathway with stringent checks and balances.

These medical checks and balances and guidance by highly-qualified medical staff are thrown out the window with self-identification of gender.

It is paramount that these people, with a biological and medical need, are treated well by our medical system; but their transition must always remain as the stringent medical pathway with checks and balances.

Transgenderism, on the other hand, is a vast and broad umbrella term for cross-dressers, men with paraphilic disorders and people with gender dysphoria, among others. Only 20% of the UK transgender population is likely to seek medical treatment or genital surgery.

Gender dysphoria is the condition of people who, with no medical cause, act and feel like they are of the opposite sex. There are many causes, such as trauma and sexual abuse. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders had always labelled this as a mental disorder until a recent revision of the DSM-5, under the duress of self-ID ideology, changed that.
Teaching self-ID is associated with a spike in what’s known as Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria. Perfectly happy children, who have never questioned their gender or identity, adopt clothing, hairstyles and mannerisms of the opposite sex in a very short timeframe.

Most high schools have a student-led LGBT group of some sort, and the discussions about gender and identity are not necessarily moderated by responsible adults. Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria is exploding in high schools wherever gender identity self-identification is being taught.

Attention seeking and troubled teens and the mentally unstable are particularly susceptible.

The BFD. I’m local Page 6 – Free Resource from Rainbow Youth

The phrase regardless of the medical stuff in the I’m Local resource highlights the concerning aspect. There is no medical pathway for self-identification. Biology and science are irrelevant. The fact that human beings are biologically bimodal for the purpose of reproduction is now a relic of the past.

It’s simply not possible for a biologically normal child, who has never previously seriously and consistently questioned their gender, to become both or neither male or female. Yet this is what is being taught via self-identification. All we need to do is to believe. You too can break free from the system we were born into that forced us into two rigid boxes.

We need a public discussion about the follow-on effects of this on society and the medical harm caused to young people who embark on an ill thought out transition.

Speak Up for Women has written an excellent piece outlining some of their concerns with self-identification of gender.

We should all be concerned about the consequences, particularly since our children are being encouraged to step outside of the box without our knowledge or consent.


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Mates & Dates: You can be Male or Female, neither or both
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