Crikey; she’s a one-horse race to the bottom, I tell ya’. Nobody’s even close.

The latest ABC audits have been released and the Stuff Dompost stable of wholemeal, gluten-free, oat-eating nags and whisperer’s are churning out doom-porn and lefto-piffle in quantities so vast more and more people are just saying enough’s enough, they can’t handle it, and are cancelling their subscriptions en-masse, giving up at the rate of 500 per-month.

The folks at the cancellation desk surely deserve a pay rise as circulation drops at an annualised rate of 15% – that’s (close to) double the Herald’s loss of 8% and triple the ODT’s measly 5% – and now, in what seems an unfair advantage to the current leader, they’re promising to bolt on a blower and supercharge the decline. Yes; really…

Seems they’ve opted for a quick demise and chosen voluntary euthanasia. Soon the whole ‘business’ will be for sale at the price of a single paper, or perhaps they’ll give it away. Any takers?

The BFD. Cartoon credit SonovaMin

Living in Wellington idbkiwi is self-employed in a non-governmental role which suits his masochistic tendencies. He watches very little television, preferring to read or research, but still subscribes...