To adopt a quote from Homer Simpson, “Climate change: is there anything it can’t do?”

So far, the dazzling list of things supposedly caused by climate change included everything from a decline in circumcisions, struggling brothels and even the Earth spinning faster.

Now, we can add shitty service from Qantas to the list.

A Qantas executive has blamed climate change for worsening flight delays, based on above ­average wind strengths at Sydney airport this year.

That’s just the hurricane-force wind from Alan Joyce constantly shooting off his festering gob, of course.

Speaking at the airline’s investor day, Qantas Domestic chief executive Andrew David said all carriers had seen a deterioration in on-time performance year-on-year for the past three years, as well as increased cancellations […] A Virgin Australia spokeswoman said the airline continued to deliver a strong on-time performance and regularly reviewed operational issues to ensure it could respond to weather-related disruptions.

The Bureau of Meteorology confirmed a higher prevalence of strong crosswinds at Sydney airport between July and September compared with the past 20 years but a spokesman said they had no published research on the connection between climate change and winds.

So, Qantas is trying to pass off three years of shitty performance by blaming just three months of unusually windy weather?

But the climate change doublespeak doesn’t end there. After all, who is going to take seriously a business that literally runs on massive CO2 emissions, when it starts bloviating about climate change?

Qantas’s concerns around ­climate change and sustainability were prominent throughout the investor day presentations at the airline’s headquarters in Mascot, Sydney. Government, inter­national and regulatory affairs executive Andrew Parker said the Qantas Group took the “urgent challenge to deal with climate change very seriously”…[but] Mr Parker said moves by countries such as Sweden to limit the number of flights taken by its citizens was “not a vision” Qantas shared. “Concerns about emissions and climate change are real and serious but we can’t lose sight of the contribution air travel makes to an open, liberal society and growing economy,” he said.

theaustralian.com.au/business/aviation/qantas-says-flight-delays-due-to-climate-change/

And, just coincidentally, makes Qantas an awful lot of money.

Punk rock philosopher. Liberalist contrarian. Grumpy old bastard. I grew up in a generational-Labor-voting family. I kept the faith long after the political left had abandoned it. In the last decade...