Political Poetry

The election was held
The votes were all cast
National had won on the night
But subsequent happenings left us aghast

It was up to Winston to decide the Government 
He who with National had utu to burn
So he decided to put Labour in power
Led by one named Jacinda Ardern

Winston had it in mind all along
As Deputy PM at large
He could do whatever he wanted
As he would be the one really in charge

And so it has transpired 
He has them on a string
Without his tick of approval 
They can’t do a thing

Not that it makes much difference 
As they are totally and utterly inept 
It’s just one crisis after another
And many many promises not kept

Just look at the Ministers appointed
The best of a less than average bunch
Mostly they appear to give the impression
That they are well and truly out to lunch

If we start with our global celebrity dear Leader, 
Whose political motives some might think sinister
One could be pardoned for having the temerity to question
Whether she’s even up to the role of a part time Prime Minister 

Next on the list is Grant Robertson
A man not known for his humility 
And neither for that matter
Having even a modicum of financial ability 

How about the hapless Phil Twyford 
A personality truly ego filled
He soon had that knocked out of him
Trying to cope with questions on Kiwibuild 

Then there’s our Carmel Sepuloni 
Encouraging everyone onto welfare
The way they’ve got this economy tanking
Nine out of ten will most likely be there 

Mustn’t forget little Chris Hipkins 
Determined to give education a jolt
However with the reaction to what he’s currently proposing 
He’s fast proving he’s not worth his salt

Kelvin Davis is supposedly the Minister of Tourism
A man who’s hardly ever reassuring 
One is left with the distinct impression 
He’d be much better off if he was simply just touring

Can’t leave out Shane Jones, Minister of Largesse
Who thinks he speaks with such aplomb
He keeps trying to tell us with unrelenting gusto
His regional policies are going down a bomb

You have to feel sorry for Minister James Shaw 
Always trying to give climate change a mention
His real problem though are the ladies in The Squad
They certainly need a lot more of his attention 

I could go on but I think you’ve heard enough
Of what in all honesty are a pretty motley lot
Unfortunately the harsh reality is 
They’re the best of everyone they’ve got.

So thank you for nothing Winston
Apart from driving us all insane
And if you want to get re-elected
Best not try and pull this stunt again!