Comedy corner: Non-PC jokes guaranteed to offend

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A guy walks into the bar and the white bartender says, we don’t serve colored people .
The man replies, I don’t understand why you white people call us colored because :
When I born, I black.
When I grow up, I black.
When I go in sun, I black.
When I cold, I black.
When I scared, I black.
When I sick, I black.
And when I die, I still black.

You white folks:
When you born, you pink.
When you grow up, you white.
When you go in sun, you red.
When you cold, you blue.
When you scared, you yellow.
When you sick, you green.
When you bruised, you purple.
And when you die, you gray.

http://kickasshumor.com

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Anant called home one afternoon to see what his wife was making for dinner.
“Hello?” said a little girl’s voice.
“Hi, honey, it’s Daddy,” said Anant. “Is mommy near the phone?” 
“No, Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with uncle Frank.” After a brief pause, Anant said, “But you don’t have an Uncle Frank, honey!” 
“Yes I do. He’s upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!” 
“Okay, then. Here’s what I want you to do. Put down the phone, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Frank that my car just pulled up outside the house.” 
“Okay, Daddy!” 
A few minutes later, the little girl came back to the phone. “Well, I did what you said, Daddy.” 
“And what happened?” 
“Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she’s all dead.”
“Oh my god! What about Uncle Frank?” 
“He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool, but he must have forgot that you took out all the water last week to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool, and now he’s dead too.” 
There was a long pause, then Anant said, “Swimming pool? Is this 555-7039?”

kickasshumor.com

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